I’m in a daze just a moment and suddenly snapped myself out of it cause I realized something that struck me hard and made me feel kind of disappointed and bittersweet. I don’t wanna be sad right now, I’m broke. Being sad will just be an added burden. But I became sad still. Anyways, I suddenly asked myself on how I measure my relationship with friends…apparently, another question popped in my head, very important question, “Are they really my friend?”
Sometimes I couldn’t resist my thought in thinking this kind of question. Cause it’s making me paranoid. It feels like I don’t have friends, REAL ones to be precise.
Oh well, I hope I’m a friend to them when they needed one. Cause I show my genuine care to them. Now I don’t wanna be so bittersweet with this…I should be happy. Cause I deserve it…Karma will come their way soon the karma they deserve. I don’t care.
I’m in a state of sadness right now that I dunno if I could get over this. I hate the feeling. It’s not even healthy. It’s okay to be sad sometimes but not all the time. I kept thinking what is going to happen to me. Will this end?…or will it end me?
gaaah…I’m so broken right now.
I rarely write something here in my blog..but when I do I make sure it’s something that I wanna share…I don’t write that much in my journal as well but those in it were moments or memories that I share with the people I am very close with…so I’m just putting something here right now the feelings I wanna share with everyone… I want my freedom. I want my life back. Let me have it! …that’s just it. I have no one to share it to but here. :)))